Connect Blog: Understanding Children Together: Parents/Carers, Children and Education by Diane Delaney

18th August 2025

Diane Delaney is Connect's Training Associate - she supports parents and parent groups to understand their legal rights in education. Diane is also a PhD candidate, exploring how parents/carers of 3-5 year old children in Scotland interact with professionals on their children’s health, wellbeing and development, with a specific focus on the role and value of parents/carers. These roles inform Diane's view that child development knowledge for both parents and educators is essential.

'For Scotland’s children to learn, grow and thrive, they must be recognised as individuals with rights and needs, who are connected to the people and environments around them. Understanding child development is critical to fully understanding how to support children to grow and thrive, at home, in school or in their communities. My PhD research highlights the critical value of parents as partners to professionals, and I would argue therefore, that parents are not just ‘stakeholders’, they are essential partners for professionals working with children. Parents are legally responsible for their child’s upbringing, health, learning and development. Parents are also rights holders, alongside their children.

Child development is more than milestones and biology. It is also about how a child’s health, relationships, environment and rights fit together, connect, depend and impact on one another. When parents and professionals share an understanding of this, particularly about individual children, they can work as a team, identifying strengths, meeting needs and creating the right environment and conditions for each child to thrive. When this happens, the idea of separating ‘home’ or ‘school’ problems should disappear.

However, when either parents or educators (or any professional) lacks this knowledge, misunderstandings and tensions can develop. Priorities can clash and opportunities for partnership fade. And of course, the children feel the impact of this. The ‘whole child’ and ‘child at the centre’ are meaningless slogans, if the actions and practice of professionals does not reflect the world through the child’s eyes; hearing their views and experiences, understanding their stage of development and how their life connects and is dependent on the people and environments they are a part of. Parents are often key to helping professionals to understand this, however, trusting relationships requires to be established first, and this can only occur through regular contact and communication between professionals and families.

Professionals must work with the child and their family, understanding the child’s needs in the context of their developmental stage, their cultural, community, environmental and family life. Many parents will need support with this for a spectrum of reasons, and that’s what turns ‘parent involvement’ into parent engagement and a genuine partnership. Together, developing a shared language, understanding, and purpose to achieve better outcomes for children (and families). Child development cannot be viewed through adult priorities. Children’s behaviour and communication are shaped by their age, stage, relationships, environment and needs. Professionals who recognise this, and respect parents as equal partners, value, empower and support them, become a team better equipped to protect and meet children’s rights and needs together.

Child development knowledge should never sit with one group alone, Parents and educators should learn together, share what they see, and build trust. That’s how policy becomes reality, and that’s how every child will get the best chance to thrive.

When gaps in knowledge or support exist for parents or professionals, they must be identified and addressed. Just as the unmet needs identified for children (and families) should too. Unmet needs should never stay hidden regardless if this is the child, parent or professional. Recording unmet needs, whether this is knowledge of child development for parents, or teachers, or the unmet needs of a child attending school creates accountability. Recognising unmet needs validates experiences. Acting on them fulfils a duty to provide the right help at the right time, reflected in many of the children and family policy documents in Scotland.

Developing knowledge of child development, and applying this knowledge to the needs and rights of children and families together as parents and professionals, will lead to stronger partnerships between home and school. Partnership from professionals will involve empowering, listening, and sharing decisions with parents. Partnership is not optional; it is a necessity. And it is the surest way to ensure no child in Scotland is left behind, or without the support they deserve. If we put children’s development at the heart of every decision and work with parents as equal partners (not stakeholders), we won’t just meet policy goals, we could change lives.'

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